Side Quest: [Lvl 13] The Best General Store
Location: Calderock Village
Level: 13
NPC: Merchant May
Level: 13
NPC: Merchant May
Inconsistency/Grammar Errors/Typos
Description: "Hey Hey!" lacks a comma and the second Hey is capitalized
Suggestion: "Hey, hey!"
Description #2: "I have a big juicy secret piece of information" is incorrect
Suggestion #2: "I've got some big, juicy secret piece of information"
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Description: "my store sells the best quality item money can buy" has the word item in singular
Suggestion: "my stores sells the best quality items money can buy"
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Description: "Because we pride ourselves with the lowest prices for all our best quality product, no gimmicks. . ." is incorrect and awkward to read
Suggestion: "Because we pride ourselves with the lowest prices for all our best quality products! No Gimmicks!"
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Description: "I have got the information from some good friends" is incorrect and awkward to read
Suggestion: "I've gotten the information from some good friends"
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Description: "The winner will have a honarary signage and many people will definitely come looking for it" is incorrect
Suggestion: "The winner will have an honorary signage and numerous people will definitely come to see it"
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Description: "I know I don't have any special product to speak of..." is incorrect and awkward to read
Suggestion: "I know that I don't have any special products for showing off."
Description #2: "Unlike Doris who have a supplement to keep the Hounds in shape. But i have the best customer service" is incorrect
Suggestion #2: "Unlike Doris who has supplements to keep the hounds in shape. However, I have the best customer service."
Description #3: "Well. . .there doesn't seems to be any worthy goods in Calderock" is slightly incorrect
Suggestion #3: "Well. . .there aren't that much worthy goods in Calderock it seems."
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Description: "So, I have to find a way to win her!" is incorrect
Suggestion: "So, I have to find a way to beat her!"
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Description: "I will need to create my own Calderock specialities!"
Suggestion: "I will need to create my own Calderock specialties!"
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Description: "I will need some pills from Dark Elves and Red Cheese from the Goblins" is inconsistent
Suggestion: "I will need some pills from the Dark Elves and Red Cheese from the Goblins"
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Description: [Red Cheese 1] is weird with the number
Suggestion: [Red Cheese] is sufficient
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Description: (May started to pour the ingredients in the broth.) is awkward to read, given that it's a present-progressive tense
Suggestion: (May starts to pour the ingredients into the broth.)
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Description: "The Dark Elves Pills and nutritious Red Cheese" would be a lot better if it was their item name engraved into them
Suggestion: "The [Dark Elves Pills] and nutritious [Red Cheese]"
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Description: "Do you think I should let my dad, Airship Engineer Hubert taste it first?" is incomplete and lacks a comma
Suggestion: "Do you think that I should let my dad, Airship Engineer Hubert, taste it first?"
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Description: "On your way, can you bring this to my dad, Airship Engineer Hubert. Haha~" is incomplete and needs a question mark, not a period.
Suggestion: "Oh, while you're on your way, can you bring this to my dad, Airship Engineer Hubert? Haha~"
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Description: "Oh, Be careful! They are ingredients alright but now it is still poisonous!" is awkward to read
Suggestion: "Oh, be careful! Those are the ingredients alright but it's still poisonous!"
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Description: "How? What did he say? He did shed tears of joy? Right?" has too many questions and the how at the beginning makes no sense at all
Suggestion: "Well? What did he say? He shed tears of joy, right?"
Suggestion: "Hey, hey!"
Description #2: "I have a big juicy secret piece of information" is incorrect
Suggestion #2: "I've got some big, juicy secret piece of information"
Description: "my store sells the best quality item money can buy" has the word item in singular
Suggestion: "my stores sells the best quality items money can buy"
Description: "Because we pride ourselves with the lowest prices for all our best quality product, no gimmicks. . ." is incorrect and awkward to read
Suggestion: "Because we pride ourselves with the lowest prices for all our best quality products! No Gimmicks!"
Description: "I have got the information from some good friends" is incorrect and awkward to read
Suggestion: "I've gotten the information from some good friends"
Description: "The winner will have a honarary signage and many people will definitely come looking for it" is incorrect
Suggestion: "The winner will have an honorary signage and numerous people will definitely come to see it"
Description: "I know I don't have any special product to speak of..." is incorrect and awkward to read
Suggestion: "I know that I don't have any special products for showing off."
Description #2: "Unlike Doris who have a supplement to keep the Hounds in shape. But i have the best customer service" is incorrect
Suggestion #2: "Unlike Doris who has supplements to keep the hounds in shape. However, I have the best customer service."
Description #3: "Well. . .there doesn't seems to be any worthy goods in Calderock" is slightly incorrect
Suggestion #3: "Well. . .there aren't that much worthy goods in Calderock it seems."
Description: "So, I have to find a way to win her!" is incorrect
Suggestion: "So, I have to find a way to beat her!"
Description: "I will need to create my own Calderock specialities!"
Suggestion: "I will need to create my own Calderock specialties!"
Description: "I will need some pills from Dark Elves and Red Cheese from the Goblins" is inconsistent
Suggestion: "I will need some pills from the Dark Elves and Red Cheese from the Goblins"
Description: [Red Cheese 1] is weird with the number
Suggestion: [Red Cheese] is sufficient
Description: (May started to pour the ingredients in the broth.) is awkward to read, given that it's a present-progressive tense
Suggestion: (May starts to pour the ingredients into the broth.)
Description: "The Dark Elves Pills and nutritious Red Cheese" would be a lot better if it was their item name engraved into them
Suggestion: "The [Dark Elves Pills] and nutritious [Red Cheese]"
Description: "Do you think I should let my dad, Airship Engineer Hubert taste it first?" is incomplete and lacks a comma
Suggestion: "Do you think that I should let my dad, Airship Engineer Hubert, taste it first?"
Description: "On your way, can you bring this to my dad, Airship Engineer Hubert. Haha~" is incomplete and needs a question mark, not a period.
Suggestion: "Oh, while you're on your way, can you bring this to my dad, Airship Engineer Hubert? Haha~"
Description: "Oh, Be careful! They are ingredients alright but now it is still poisonous!" is awkward to read
Suggestion: "Oh, be careful! Those are the ingredients alright but it's still poisonous!"
Description: "How? What did he say? He did shed tears of joy? Right?" has too many questions and the how at the beginning makes no sense at all
Suggestion: "Well? What did he say? He shed tears of joy, right?"
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Description: "This! I can't believe it!" is incomplete
Suggestion: "Oh my! It's this! I can't believe it!"
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Bugs
Description: Picking the 2nd option [40-year-old recipe...] forces you to exit the conversation
Suggestion: Make it continue the conversation if the 2nd option is picked
[No screenshot because I forgot to screenie it]
:(
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END OF "The Best General Store"
Summary
# of inconsistencies/grammar errors/typos: 20
# of errors: 0
# of bugs: 1
Conclusion
Holy moly! 20 typo's for such a short side quest! I regret coming back to this.
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